Unfriendly Fires

Bastard little indie bands or for that matter any genre of band can whine loooong and hard about the public downloading music until the cows come home...look, here they are now...but even Daisy here will concur, that most new bands of any description are total cunts. Moo. See. That's yes in cow speak.

The reason? Wer-ho, you know the reason as well as I do. Every time a vaguely new band springs into life, like a relentless daisy of pain, the gormless members of the consuming public (such as myself) are given a choice, a choice which is two-fold:

(a) NEW BAND - DOWNLOAD THE ALBUM AND SEE IF IT'S ANY GOOD!!!

or

(b) Listen to their first two singles legitimately. If you think they're good, buy the album.

Wise people will of course take option A, to the intense rage of music peoples the world over. But they can, again, of course, FUCK RIGHT OFF.

I have a rather hardy and justice laden policy of, if I like five or more of a band's songs (having illegally downloaded them) I will then legitimately purchase their CD. If, however, they suck balls, I will not buy it, safe in the knowledge that I have once more avoided buying a shoddy album. This is a very safe method, and even if you follow it with three songs or five songs, it is a good and fair way of consuming music. The errors occur if you suddenly become consumed with an attack of zombie like naivety. Like what follows..

I, like a common Frenchman, my head full of romance and soft cheese, purchased the Friendly Fires album on a whim. I was going to Glastonbury. They were playing. I might as well listen to the rest of their songs, on top of their three I had. I'd seen them live in DC. They were very good.
Yet...YET, their album was a fucking nightmare. It was as if the Arnold Schwarzeneger of Terminator had been sent back in time purely to rape the 80s. Then it was as if the offspring of this tragic affair had been forced into a grotesque, corporate mating program with a CasioClub M-100 electronic keyboard. The bastard of this experiment was the Friendly Fires album.

My point being that it was a horrific album. My point being that, for my part, it was an error of a purchase that I afforded little replay value.

WHEN SUDDENLY, like a dynamo out of the night sky, came "Kiss of Life", by Friendly Fires! A great song to my ears, that I liked, and I thought, holla motherbitch, I like it, I'll whip that right up on the album I purchased!!
If only that were possible. A song like that only appears if it's the last option. It's the mechanical lung for an album which is rapidly circling the drain, and so early in life too. Song like 'Kiss of Life' are only released if a band is so initially crud that they must re-release new and better songs to promote sales of will eventually be their 'new and improved album' (which, as is well documented here, was originally crud). I mean what a cunt.

It's like a man with a history of spousal abuse coming back to a woman and saying "baby, I can change" for the fifth fucking time, before blowing her brains out with another mediocre album. Shut up, that's exactly what it's like.

Friendly Fires aren't the only ones. MGMT, Summer 08's precious golden child and official Doors look -a-like winners, are another fine example of this bastard-like tomfoolery and did the same fucking thing. I'm very glad that I never bought their album. Pretty much all of their competent or good songs were thoroughly absent from their album. Why? There's honestly no reason. Oh, except that anyone vaguely involved with the music industry is a cunt.

So fucking download every single piece of music that you can for free! Because if you don't your good-will will only get raped by injustice; and injustice has a big fucking cock, alright.