Posh Isn't Funny

You might think that this is a petty, meaningless blog, but it's not, and you're wrong. If you think that then you're exactly like those people in the past who used to go "fuck the environment, there's plenty of it left" until one day there wasn't. Well I'm not going to let that happen, I'm shooting this berk down before he can destroy my viewing environment, free as it is, of wankers.

Having established the importance of this article, the man that I direct you to is none other than Jack Whitehall.. exactly, who the fuck is he?
Well, in the last few months he has been on You Have Been Watching and just tonight (October 22nd) has hosted Never Mind the Buzzcocks. Technically he is a stand-up comedian, but only in the same way that I am a published novelist.
This article is necessary because I fear that the stupid television brains controlling anything are going to soon be injecting more of this jumped up little twit onto our screens because he is young, good looking and all squeaky-bum-market-research-appeal to the right demographic-clean.

In actual fact, he is a posh prick. He seems fresh out of uni and if he didn't take a drama course I will eat my hat because he is a classic drama student idiot. Every line he delivers is with the same posh tone emphasis at the end of the word or sentence, and everything he says is unoriginal, unimaginative and just uninspiring. I worry this is what I'd be like on television, but look, I'm not on television. Because I bet what he said used to sound pretty funny down at the student union and he thought:

"Yowser, when I get back to mummy and daddy in Kensington I'm telling them that I want to be a super duper comedy personality - perhaps I'll get a grant for being posh!"

And he did, I bet, probably. I've seen his stand-up material and it's weaker than a milky tea, and I hate milky tea baby-bel. I'm not sure where the jokes are coming from with this guy, I don't see the appeal, I've seen him on television a total of three times and it both upsets and inspires me because he is a no-talent toff with an empty clone of a personality; he should be in politics, not in comedy!
Newsflash Jack my boy, POSH doesn't equal FUNNY, ok, unless it's done ironically. Everything you say is not funny simply by virtue of your saying it, you have to think of something witty. Self-satisfaction doesn't make you a wit, trust me, I know. You dick. Get off of my television set you after dinner mint of a light-weight flop sweat "comedian".
The fact that he's on television inspires me, because it must be easy.

That's it, that's all. This was me railing against an oaf and I apologise, but seriously, the guys an arse and you'd be well advised to avoid him.