A Sarcastic Round of Applause for Richard Dawkins.

Oh well done, oh well, well done Richard Dawkins, PROFESSOR Richard Dawkins, you mighty Zeus of a man! Oh I'm sorry, Zeus is a mythological Roman God isn't he, no more credible than Christian God. Let me rephrase then lest I suffer your frightening rath in the same way religion has...er...Richard Dawkins you...mighty ape descended survivor you! Let me just say, if it is all about survival of the fittest with Richard then there's been an error in his gene pool somewhere along the line, because he seems to have been born with the kind of face that you want to repeatedly punch; huh.

Richard Dawkins, champion of atheism likes to spit in the face of God; HA, yeah, fuck you God. I'm not religious and I do consider some aspects of religion mad and laughable...you know, those evangelical American types and the antiquated naiviety that some religious folk walk around with...but I mean seriously Richard, seriously? You really want to kick the shit out of Christianity for no reason but to satisfy your own sense of self worth. Ok, let's dance baby-bel, because I'm British and I like the underdog to win.

Dawkins may seem all balls and tits, but it must be easy to draw Gods wrath under a different name than your own. He gallavants around the place, bitch-slapping religion, who hasn't done anything wrong recently, under guise of some modern day Charles Darwin; Richard, you're not Charles Darwin, and throwing his name around all the time doesn't suddenly give you some authorative clout with which to debunk something that is fundamentally spiritual in nature! Yeah alright, there's no Adam and Eve and you're truly an enlightened man to notice that, but you're saying that spirituality and a peaceful inner-psyche aren't important to the most sentient beings on the planet? Oh right, cool, brilliant.
It probably doesn't even stop at his brash theories either, I bet Richard Dawkins gets table reservations like that as well.

-"I'm sorry sir, there really aren't any tables left, I'm afraid you'll have to try another restaurant"
-"Ah...perhaps if my friend Chaaaarles Darwin was joining us this evening?"
-"OH WELL SIR, that's different, he discovered evolution and debunked that whole God thing we were all wasting our time with!"
-"I know; so we'll say, 6 o'clock?"
-"Wonderful sir, and how many is the table for"
-"I'm an ubearable bastard I'm afraid so I will, in fact, be dining alone this evening"
-"Just you and the lord eh sir?"

And so on in that manner.

Why is Richard Dawkins so eager to disprove religion? Religion has a very corrupt image that I think is left over from you know like...monarchy olden day times...and yes the religious world can be a bunch of pricks, just look at gay marriage. But I mean what is it? Intelligent people use religion intelligently and find solice in it. Some people like to drink coffee, it relaxes them. Shall we lay into them too Richard, you and me? They're not harming anyone sure, but what say you and me go down to Starbucks and start kicking over tables in the name of science eh? FUCK YOU COFFEE DRINKERS, YOU SHOULD BE DRINKING TEA BECAUSE IT'S PROVEN TO BE BETTER FOR YOU THAN COFFEE! GAAARGH! Isn't it insulting that Richard Dawkins is going on television and telling you and I that in fact, and guys, if you're reading this, keep it under your hat, but...a lot of the stuff written in the Bible...it's not true.
No, seriously, it's not. I saw it on this programme by a guy calle Richard Dawkins, he told me there was this thing called evolution and that actually thats where we all come from! Fuck me, did we really need a four or five part television series to have something so plainly fundamental explained to us? WE KNOW THANKS RICHARD, what have you got lined up for the Autumn, a whole television series explaining the dangers of drinking anti-freeze to me? Well, until that gets aired, I'm downing this next one, wheeeey! Prick.

And do you know what, FUCK YOU. I personally have about as much proof of evolution as I do for what the bible says. Whatever way you look it at it, unless you are a scientist or a priest you are getting the facts delivered through some sort of second-party medium. I don't have the fossils that show evolution, I wasn't there observing the millenia long process of leg growth and beak extension, nor was I around when God stuck together some bits and bobs and gave us all the gift of human shame. I have wikipedia, and that's it.

Another thing; it's Professor Richard Dawkins isn't it? Forgive me (please!) if I'm wrong, but aren't you guys supposed to carry out impartial tests? You know, like in fair, scientific conditions?
So reeeally, when doing a programme designed to shove all religious belief firmly in the bin, shouldn't there be a priest present as well to represent the other side of the argument? Surely he'd have a thing or two to say while you're in South Africa putting your hand against that of chimpanzees to show the similarity. Perhaps The Bishop of Canterbury could take us round some graves and show us the people who find some comfort in believing in heaven. And then they could release Dawkins from a nearby cage or something and he could find a greiving person and take a huge dump on the grave they were at; HA HA HA! Tally one to science!
Just having Richard Dawkins on that show, with all his stuffy upper-class snobbery renders the ENTIRE programme as scientific propoganda. I don't care how accurate it all is, the last person I ever want my facts from is Richard Dawkins, I'd rather have evolution explained to me on the back of a cereal box.

As I said, I'm not religious, but I am fairly...you know...moral. And essentially, as it's core, religion tries to preach good I think. And yes, in these hurly burly modern times where we (as in, other people) are making scientific breakthroughs all the time, it's hard for religion to find any real meaning. Next to an iPod, who the hell needs God; I'll take 'Keyboard Cat' thank you very much.
So just leave religion alone ok Richard? And that goes for all of you. If it's not long for this world anyway, why do something that any single one of us could have done, you pretentious toss-pot; seriously.

In conclusion, a well done and a slow, sarcastic round of applause are in line for Richard Dawkins. Let me address him directly; "You brave man you! You really lampooned religion there, what a kick in the nuts for God YOU are sir! I mean for fuck sake, why not just go and beat up some children, at least that'd be more challenging than completely laying into relgion you prick. I think I might just refuse to believe in evolution because I hate you so much". For a man so determindely stuck in science, he sure does like to preach.